Jemartian

Jess Collins

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Your Toy by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Your Toy

I used to be your toy I used to tell you no But you ignored me Kept coming back for more You threw me in a downhill spiral Left me fighting for my mind You told them that I encouraged you That you thought that was what I wanted Who would want to be touched like that At 14 Who would want to be scared like that At 14 Who would want to be thrown into that world like that At 14 I used to be your toy I tore at me Made me scared it was my fault It was my fault you did this I know better now You decided what you wanted You held me down No matter how much I fought I was never strong enough I gave up fighting Told you no more

Trust Me? by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Trust Me?

Do you trust me? I need to know Do you trust me? Further than you can throw Do you trust me? When I'm out with my friends Do you trust me? When you're asleep in your bed Do you trust me? When I'm sad Do you trust me? When things are going bad Do you trust me? When I'm at the pool Do you trust me? Not to drool Do you trust me? With my ex Do you trust me? When he's looking his best Do you trust me? To stay myself Do you trust me? Without my belt Do you trust me? When I'm lonely inside Do you trust me? When we say goodbye Do you trust me? To always think of you first Do you trust me? To love you till my heart burst

Gone Is The Happiness by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Gone Is The Happiness

Tattered heart Happy one day True smiles for one day Laughter ringing clear Beautiful soul Allowed to breathe For one sacred day Reality crashes Strangling the life out of happiness Where's the shoulder? Where's the hugs? Why is this news so late When no help is near? Silent tears build up They will not fall tonight There will be no weakness tonight There will be a fight Against the fear pushing just right

Untitled2 by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Untitled2

I want to write But the words won't come out of my pen My head teases me My eyes show too much light My neck pushes me It feels so tight Blame the floresent lights For the Plague of migraines It doesn't matter I still have the pain Run your fingers through my hair Helping me to relax I'll rest in your arms Under your tender touch I can let everything go When you're near I trust you I trust you

The Broken by Jemartian, literature

Literature

The Broken

Rushing emotions Through a week Through a month Through a year Secrets hidden Behind these eyes Behind this smile Behind this mask Ignorance is bliss Enjoy it while it lasts The life you know of Isn't the full life lived The fears you hear Aren't all there are Don't let your happy bubble break I'll understand if you leave when it does The broken bubble The broken picture The broken life You leave behind

Why Desire? by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Why Desire?

What have I done? What have I awoken? Was it too soon? Did I think it through? I could feel the pressure building I wanted to push it further Desire ran through me Oh god, who have I become? Was it right? Why do I want more? Why now? Why did I give in? I knew what I was doing I always did I know where to touch I know how to move When did I become like this? When did I stop caring? Did I stop and think? What does he think? What does he feel? I want more I can still feel the touch Desire ran through him He pressed me against him I didn't fear What's different? Is his trust misplaced? Is my trust misplaced? Should I

DayDreams by Jemartian, literature

Literature

DayDreams

Sleep deprived With the imagination of a writer Fear of being alone Child-like innocence And the want of pain A mind wonders to the unknown realms No one is the same Distorted are the faces Actions are wishful hopes From a person who feels alone Who is to tell These devilish thoughts Daydreams of pain And realizations The person in the dream says sorry They don't want to be a burden But thinking it says otherwise But actions remain to that lie Don't burden the mind With too much hurt already Don't let it lay in wait For the unknown and impossible Those daydreams Fabricated hope Never coming true For there are no an

A Dedicated Song by Jemartian, literature

Literature

A Dedicated Song

A song dedicated to you A song dedicated to what we had A song dedicated to you A song dedicated to all we went through I'm not saying it was bad But I'm not saying it was right You hurt me so thoroughly That I just wanted to die How perfect can one person be When they barely know me Even after all the pain you cause I still can't see but a few flaws A song dedicated to you A song dedicated to the feeling you gave me A song dedicated to you A song dedicated to the love we lost All that you said Was it a lie? All the promises you made Will they end now? Do we loose everything Now that it's over? A song dedicated to you

Can You See Me? by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Can You See Me?

Can you see me Walking in front of you? Do you know that I want to know you? Can you understand That I want you to be mine tonight? I've been watching you For sometime Never talking to you Just watching from afar As you pass me by I want to say Can you see me Walking in front of you? Do you know that I'm alive? Would you ever say hi to me? Will you say hi to me today? I doubt you would ever notice If I shouted your name I don't think You would hear me When I did Unlike you I'm not normal And unlike you I'm afraid to say Can you see me Walking in front of you? Do you know that I'm alive? Would you ever say hi

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Every Second by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Every Second

As I watch the sunset The moon rise above I just can't help thinking About your love Because you're needed In my heart and in my mind To keep me safe All through the night Chorus: Cause every second that you're gone I'm missing you When you're out of my arms You know it's true I need you to say That you love me everyday That you need me to say That i love you too The way I do Is greater than the oceans wide The way I do Is unstoppable, uncontrollable Chorus: Cause every second that you're gone I'm missing you When you're out of my arms You know it's true Cause I need you In my heart and in my mind To keep m

Livin' My Life by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Livin' My Life

Tell me who are Tell me who I am Can you? Are you for real? This is who I am, livin' my life to the fullest This is how I feel, going for the top Do you understand what I'm saying? Or am I above your head? Chorus: I'm living my life to the fullest Conquering everything in my path Going for the top Never giving up Can u say the same? You may think I'm weak; I'm more than just an average girl Blue belt is nothing, higher than what you have Can't beat a fly, shows what you know Why can't you just leave me alone? Chorus: I'm livin' my life to the fullest Conquering everything in my path Climbing to the top Never giving up

Incomplete by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Incomplete

I don't like the thought Of being alone It scares me beyond belief Ever since you Stopped talking to me Its all I've been able to feel I don't know what I did to make you run But I'm sorry with all my heart I don't think you know what you mean to me Without you I feel incomplete You are the one I can turn to My shoulder to cry on Without you I would have lost myself I'll walk down the street I'll sit in the quad It all remains the same WIthout knowing you'll Be there when I call I'm scared to show my face to the world I don't know who I'll turn to The next time I crumble to the ground I don't know who I'll become If you

Never Let The Past Repeat by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Never Let The Past Repeat

Never let the past repeat… In the past I never stood up for myself I let everyone walk all over me Gave into just about everything Never stood up for myself Well I’m done being that person Done living that life Done not standing up for my rights I’m no longer going to put up with the crap You’ll have put me through Cause I’m done listening to you Never letting the past repeat Don’t try to change me Don’t try to persuade me Cause I’m no longer listening to you I’m not going to follow your rules Not going to follow your trends That’s not me get used to it I can think for my

My Many Masks by Jemartian, literature

Literature

My Many Masks

I'm tried of wearing this mask That hides my face It covers up all the hurt That I don't want anyone to see The mask that if taken off Would show everyone...me "Chorus" Somethings are real But most the happiness Is a cover up A mask, one of many - I have so much pain Bottled up inside So much mistrust I try to hide Boys have hurt me so many times before Don't take it personally Because I do trust you I just maybe a little cautious Or need just a little time "Chorus" Somethings are real But most the happiness Is a cover up A mask, one of many - I have so much pain Bottled up inside So much mistrust I try to hide

I Feel by Jemartian, literature

Literature

I Feel

I feel weird I feel defeated I feel like I'm losing one of my closest friends I feel out of it I feel asleep and wide-awake at the same time, I feel worn I feel like I can't smile I feel like I'm going to relive a nightmare soon I feel imprisoned I feel stressed I feel worry I feel the sleep that won't come at midnight so I wont be able to wake up tomorrow. I feel like I wont be able to function tomorrow I feel like ill cry tomorrow for no reason then open up and share a secret that wont die I feel weird I feel a headache coming on I feel like I'm broken beyond repair even though I'm not I feel like its last Jan. again

Dance in the Rain by Jemartian, literature

3 Simple Words by Jemartian, literature

Don't Cry For Me by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Don't Cry For Me

Don't cry for me I'm not worth your tears I'm not worth any pain To your heart Don't pity me I'll infect your mind Don't look at me I'll burn your eyes So little control Suck a weak soul Smile like there's no tomorrow Make everyone believe your lies You're dying inside With each day that goes by Soon you will be gone Don't cry for me I'm not worth your tears I'm not worth any pain To your heart Don't pity me I'll infect your mind Don't look at me I'll burn your eyes Loving me will bring you down Into a hole you can't escape Caring for me Is like a disease An allergy Of me Broken life Hidden from the light Don't

Her Story by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Her Story

Her story told Her story read Brought tears to the eyes Of those who do not cry One sad story Moved many Allowed some to see What she was feeling Not all could see What she was feeling Not all could understand The pain lived By the girl Who hid it all You she dreads You she won't tell You who shares his name And scares her today The girl with the story The girl you see before you The same girl Who hides it all

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Longing For Her by Sanctus-Omnius, literature

Literature

Longing For Her

I sit here dejected and weary aching from inside Blood drains from my face as the week goes on And I sit in waddle is dismay missing her beautiful face Melancholy and filled with spite, those around feel my bite Bitterness drowning me, anger during the light I sit here and fight my greatest enemy in an epic fight I battle his lust, his creed, and loss of control I battle his anger, his might, and his dying soul I battle his greed, his hunger, like a ferocious bull Blows are struck and blood is lost Each swing I lose, each stroke I fall further Fighting myself never seemed harder The only thing keeping me sane is this lady by me W

Lust by roseonurcoffindoor, literature

Realization by Sanctus-Omnius, literature

Literature

Realization

As I sit in her chair As I waft in her scent As I sleep in her bed As I wake in her arms As I have her in many dreams As I dream I could be with her many As I wake with this cold sweat As I realize, there is no substitute for this Love cannot be masked as many think It shouldn't be veiled It shouldn't be considered weak Scholars boast it to be a dangerous thing The end of troy and many another things But as I sit here and type away Longing for her in the morning the next day I simply can't wait to say How much I simply love her, everyday. A tear comes to my eye at her pure serenity No longer seen as ignorance but absolute ac

Deviation Spotlight

Why Desire? by Jemartian, literature

Literature

Why Desire?

Jemartian

Deviation Spotlight

Miyu Desktop1 by Jemartian, visual art

Miyu Desktop1

Jemartian

About Jemartian

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United States
Deviant for 19 years
She / Her

Badges

My Bio

Current Residence: California
Favourite genre of music: Pop/ Emo?
Favourite photographer: Nathan Franklin
MP3 player of choice: iPod (yeah yeah, pittiful i know)
Wallpaper of choice: This Vampire Miyu one i have....
Favourite cartoon character: Kim Possible
Personal Quote: Garf, you're a dork kid

Favourite Visual Artist

Amy Lee

Favourite Movies

Bring it On and 10 things I hate about you

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Evanescence

Favourite Writers

Atwater-Rhodes

Favourite Games

Sims and Minesweeper

Tools of the Trade

Pen and paper

Other Interests

Tennis, Drama, Dance, writing, music, reading, comps, DollieDen... etc

Posts

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Jemartian

May 24, 2005

READ

0 min read

I cant even remember what i named the damn poem... something desires i think. Anyways I think i should make something clear, i did enjoy, i wanted more, i craved it, but i dont want to move too fast for u, i guess i fear that if i do then god know, i cant even keep track of my own thoughts. this is what i get for being up so late at night, it 3am -.-. confusion seems to always be present i guess... i had something else in my head earlier when i was awake but now.... i dont know how to explain it, watch me wake up in the morning and not remember any of this -.-. would be the typically jess thing to do....  grr y is dA running soo slow with pos

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Jemartian

May 10, 2005

pushing away

0 min read

dante wrote a poem called 'fuck you all' or something along those lines, and its basically telling people to leave us alone and stop telling us to go out... and hes right, people need to stop it and when they keep it up it does push me away. im not ready, dont try to make me ready, i will run, and anyone who knows me knows that its easy to make me run.

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Jemartian

May 7, 2005

Hmm... Kissing Thoughts....

0 min read

You know it's wierd, i have sat and talked to my friends how ahow certian guys kissed. One that me and 2 other friends have all kissed at different points we all complained suck, and it wasnt that he was really a bad kisser it just wasnt fun... It got me thinking about how a kiss could make or break a relationship cuz if the person sucks then u dont want to kiss them... there have been many like that for me and it wasnt till recently that i needed more than for to be just fun, there needs to be something else there. I dont know how to explain it but yeah.... this got me thinking about this guy... never been kissed till his 18th b-day and wha

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Profile Comments 22

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WolverFox

Nov 12, 2007

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